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RV Law of ?

DeltaRomeo

doug reeves: unfluencer
Staff member
A stab at comedy. I’ll get the ball rolling with:


"RV Law of Clean Leading Edges / Dirty Belly"
If you just clean the leading edge of your wings after a flight, the longer a visitor stares at them the probability of them believing the belly is also clean approaches one.
 
Law Two

RV LAW OF STATED PERFORMANCE NUMBERS
If you state any performance number on your craft someone in the audience will have always have a better one for theirs.
 
RV Law of Tailwheel Superiority

If you even think A model, be prepared for the fuel and flames.
 
The law of

The RV humility law
The more someone compliments you on your workmanship on your RV, the more mistakes and dings you will point out.
 
RV humility law corollary: As soon as you start to think you are a competent builder, you bungle a part and humbly call the mothership for a replacement.
 
... Vectors.

The RV Law of Vectors.

No matter how many times you checked...
? and rechecked...
...no matter what precautions you took...
? the drill bit is ALWAYS perfectly aligned dead center with your thumbnail. :eek:
 
The RV Laws of Opinions

1st Law: "The first law states that for every opinion about building/flying/maintaining an RV, there is an equal and opposite opinion."

2nd Law: "The second law states that the entropy of any discussion about an opinion will always increase."

3rd Law: "The third law states that the entropy of any discussion around an opinion approaches a constant value just prior to being locked by a moderator."
 
A stab at comedy. I?ll get the ball rolling with:


"RV Law of Clean Leading Edges / Dirty Belly"
If you just clean the leading edge of your wings after a flight, the longer a visitor stares at them the probability of them believing the belly is also clean approaches one.

But if you just walk away without ANY cleaning, the visitor with think the plane is already clean. And if the visitor was a passenger, they will be so thrilled with the flight that no amount of dirt/grease/oil will be even slightly noticeable, because they are not nearly as anal as we are! :)
 
The Law of Auto-Resolving Problems

If the aircraft starts to make a strange sound and subsequently the sound goes away, the problem has not resolved itself; there's at least a 50% chance it's gotten worse.

==dave==
 
The Law of Perversity Tending to the Maximum

  • Everything affects everything else. There?s no such thing as one domino.
  • Any small item dropped while working in the engine compartment will never come out the bottom.
  • Any small dropped item that hits the floor will not be in the direction you saw it bounce.
  • The ?most likely? explanation/cause/solution is only applicable to other airplanes ? not yours.
  • There are only three places in RVs that fuel leaks will occur:
    • bad places;
    • really bad places;
    • and much worse places.
  • There?s always something.
 
No matter what you say on VAF, someone will find a way to disagree or prove you wrong. (And he is probably an engineer.)

Watch: "The sky is blue."
 
Based on my own personal motto:
Most experimental aircraft builders are smarter than they could ever prove... until their aircraft flies. Then they have proof.
 
The Law of RV Project Scheduling

"If you quote a specific duration or finish date for your RV project, schedule will inexplicably slip, due to reasons outside of your control."
 
Law of inanimate reproduction

If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, you end up with two of them.
 
Plane Ownership

The minimum number of planes one should own is one. The correct number is n+1, where n is the number of planes currently owned. This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of planes owned that would result in separation from your partner.
 
Talking about building an RV around non-aviation people will result in them doubting your sanity and wonder why you want to build a camper.
 
No matter what you say on VAF, someone will find a way to disagree or prove you wrong. (And he is probably an engineer.)

Watch: "The sky is blue."

Technically, the sky has no color of its own; what you perceive as its color is on the result of differential refraction of sunlight by??Hey! Get your hands off me! No, seriously, I mean it, this is important! ?someone is Wrong on the Internet!
 
Law of Air Compressors

Your air compressor will run out of pressure at the exact moment you are ready to spray your final paint coat.
 
Zen

While relaxing and planning the next aspect of the build. Your wife comes out to the hanger and thoroughly interrupt your moment of Zen meditation and planning And simply accuses you of being asleep in the thinking recliner 😜
 
Latest and greatest gizmo, at half the price, backwards compatible and zero install, slide in/bolt on, will release just as you complete an "upgrade".
 
Law of Community

At the risk of being a little too serious...

No problem you run into is unique. Someone else has already faced the same problem and found a solution. And that someone is almost always ready to move heaven and earth to help you through.

This is an amazing community
 
If you tell a non-aviation person youre building an RV, you get a funny look, cause noone would build their own camper.

When an RV-builder finds out youre building a non-RV, you get the same funny look.
 
The quickest and most efficient way to locate a dropped rivet, nut or any small sharp object in your garage build area is to have your wife come out in her stocking feet to tell you it is dinner time or bed time. She will locate it 100% of the time and announce it quite loudly.
 
RV Law of ?Which one will it be?

The odds of 1 screw or nut in the group being impossible to remove without swear words or extreme effort is directly proportional to always.

R
 
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My law of inanimate reproduction

If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, you end up with two of them.

No matter how many AN3-3.5 rivets you set on a given day, overnight they?ll breed and seemingly replenish themselves
 
The velocity law states that the speed of your RV is directly proportional
to how cool your paint job is.
 
No matter what you say on VAF, someone will find a way to disagree or prove you wrong. (And he is probably an engineer.)

Watch: "The sky is blue."

Corollary: No matter what thing/part/system/tool you say you have, at least half of the responding posts will be about things/parts/systems/tools that are not that (and how you should never have used that in the first place, what WERE you thinking?).
 
the Law of Hardware

No matter what hardware you are installing, you will always be one piece short.

Corollary: The shipping time for the missing piece is inversely proportional to the urgency of need.
 
Everybody lies about cruise speed, and fishing!

This come into effect more, when your trout or salmon is measured in pounds, not inches. Funny how the scales for your RV when weighing for CG per wheel, are dead accurate!

Men are born honest, until they become fishermen and drinkers.
 
Van's Time Axiom

Van's Time Axiom:

The need for any Van's part will inevitably be discovered at precisely 5:05PM Pacific Time on a Friday.


Corollary: If the part is urgently needed and causes your plane to be grounded, the Friday in question will precede a Monday Holiday.
 
Van's Time Axiom:

The need for any Van's part will inevitably be discovered at precisely 5:05PM Pacific Time on a Friday.


Corollary: If the part is urgently needed and causes your plane to be grounded, the Friday in question will precede a Monday Holiday.

Move to Atlanta. Everyone else has. ;-)

The walk-up counter at Aircraft Spruce East is open all day on Saturday.
 
Move to Atlanta. Everyone else has. ;-)

The walk-up counter at Aircraft Spruce East is open all day on Saturday.

Maybe that is my problem, every time I work on the RV, afterward I need to place an Aircraft Spruce order to replace what I screwed up or get some tool I don't have yet.
Larry
 
No matter how carefully you plan, once you have carefully wedged yourself in the cockpit floor to work on the panel from underneath, you will discover two forgotten items:
1. The exact tool you need for the job, and
2. Your cell phone you need to call for help
 
RV Law

No matter how hard you try before getting under the instument panel, you will have to empty your bladder.
 
The odds of irreparably bungling a part or assembly can be stated as 1:SCT(1+F)/P, where S = volumetric size of the part/assembly, C is the cost, T is the time invested so far, F is a measure of your fatigue, and P is the percentage left to completion.

F is the only factor that can be controlled and varies by person and situation, being a scale of 100 and maxing X minutes after starting work. Personal observation has shown X to range from 10 minutes to 3 hours, with 70 minutes being average. Indications of Fmax can include: searching five minutes for the part/tool that is on the worktable in plain sight ready to be used, reheating your cold coffee for the third time before taking a sip, not being able to find a pair of safety glasses despite having several kept around the shop, and so forth. It can also be measured by the rude word ratio: when the ratio of rude words to normal speech approaches 1:1, Fmax is near. If the ratio over any 2 minute period reaches 5:1 (such as after dropping a bucking bar on your sandal-clad foot), Fmax has been reached.
 
The law of remembering parts to order

You will always think of something else you needed from Spruce (or Van's, or Stein, or whomever) right after you click on "send order."
 
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